Awkward moment #3

Well, since writing my last interview post, I've been inspired to share another incredible interview experience that went down a few weeks ago...
Again I will not mention which firm, for fear of, well I'm not sure, all I know is that some how the English are less inclined to have a giggle then my South African or American contingent. What I will mention is that their recruitment process is beastly:

Firstly you need an entry interview, more of a "chat" with one of the employees, just to make sure that you know what your getting yourself into, then, if you prove to be in someway an acceptable human specimen, you are invited to compose a variety of online essays, enlist your details, send through a cover letter and CV.
After explaining a summarised version of your life story, you are invited to the second round.

A phone interview, where the poor helpless graduate has to jump through intellectual hoops to impress the interviewer who is more Hannibal Lector then Anne Robinson, on topics as diverse as the movements in the Spanish economy over the last 5 years to the price of peas in the lost city of Atlanta. Another week passes before you hear if you've made it to the third round.

The third round is an assessment day, basically a 6 hour set of tasks, tests and ultimately a 50 minute interview with two analysts who ask the poor graduate to explain their life story once more, and amongst other things, explain FX Options, and Credit Default Swaps in a language their gran would understand, that was the easy bit... So far so good...

The final stage, where I came undone in a large way, is a 40 minute interview with the head of the analytics department and with some HR person. Honestly walking into this round, for the first time in the process, I felt quite confident, I had done my homework, work had provided an equities analyst to train great answers into me, I held economic current affairs in the palm of my hand... Then the unthinkable happened.

Before we get there though, I feel it's necessary to explain an important concept, developed by a team of geniuses in South Africa known simply as the P-UNIT, who "pun for a free living". According to P-UNIT legend, there exists amongst us, specifically blessed females, who essentially have the rare combination of incredible beauty and and and well um ya, suffice to say they leave their male victims both speechless and giggly at the same time... these individuals are known simply as "Sim girls". Firstly know that they reduce men to a language known as "Sim talk", named after the jumbled collection of mumbles not dissimilar to language that the Sims people use to communicate in the computer game... and secondly that they are exceedingly rare.

As you might have gathered at this point the random HR person was my Sim girl... one of the first I've encountered, in fact I was starting to doubt in their existence, but yes, the work smitten comes to mind, although perhaps, when she recalls the events she might use less pleasant words... In short I don't think I made a huge amount of sense during that interview, I am aware that there was some blank staring, and a large unstoppable grin on my face, the particulars are rather hazy, I'm unsure if the head of the analytics department even joined us. I remember her introducing herself as Hannah, and I think at that point I said that I was Hannah and she said "no your Richard" and I said "yes, that's ok". There certainly was some poor attempts at humour and certainly the occasional blind stabs at the English language, who knows.

I did receive a rejection email promptly the next day, but know this, that may be the best interview I ever have... ever.