He speaks the truth

~PICTURE REMOVED FOR LEGAL REASONS~

Three weeks still no reply to my complaint! Banking is a service right? Haha way too much time on my hands, just returned from the Science Museum and it was awesome! Get stuck in!

Richard Junior in Chocolate Mousse as per popular request

Banking made easy!

I have a bank account! Barclays for the win... It took 45 minutes, I walked in on a busy Saturday without an appointment, and they made a space for me. These are some of the things they did not need from me:
Previous bank statements
A utility bill
My flight details
Any form of proof of address

In fact all they wanted was my name, number, address and passport, Barclays have organised a current account for me, which allows me to use my debit card everywhere, for free, they even opened a savings account for me.

My personal favorite was when the manager of the bank came out of her office to welcome me to her bank, she gave me her personal business card and asked me to call if I ever feel unhappy with the service.

Barclays for the win

Richard Junior

Basically a few days ago I found a fantastic little plastic man lying, or rather, just chilling, on the pavement. This was no ordinary plastic man, he was, and is, in fact wearing the exact same outfit as me... and aside from being extremely small and fairly inflexible, we kind of look alike. For this reason I have named him Richard Junior, my flat mate Chris quickly made a move to call him little Dick, but I think that's just because he stole some of Chris's sugar this morning :) This find, or rather this discovery has far reaching implications, for one I now have a couch surfing buddy, (we're seriously considering a couch surfing video as the seasons change and the swell picks up) and possibly more importantly, free sugar for life? Perhaps even more exciting, Richard Junior can do things that I can't because of his shear smallness, and because he has so much time free everyday. Tomorrow, he shall stand in front of a certain bank all day and protest, maybe on Monday he might quite literally bathe in a tub of chocolate moose? All we can know for certain is Richard Junior provides us all with a great hope for the future of this blog.

Couch Surfing

I am bored, and since Chris can only come with me to the bank on Saturday I have invented a new fun thing to do :) basically all you need is:
1. Free time
2. The unquenchable itch to surf
3. A hand carved surf board
4. 2 Pillows
5. A blue t-shirt

Surfs up folks!

Banking made easy naaaat... the sequel

To briefly recap where we left off last time, today should have been the day that I received my bank account card and number, allowing me to transfer my South African funds into an English account, basically allowing me to continue participating as a human. Alas the mighty corporation thought otherwise, the battle, it seems, is not over, not with standing the fact that there are plenty of fat ladies singing in the tube station everyday. Today instead of receiving the life line promised to me by the bank manager I received a three page letter casually informing me that my request for a bank account has been denied on the basis that I had failed to provide a utility bill. At this point maybe it would be helpful to remind the reader that I am not looking for any credit facility at all, not even a little bit, just somewhere for my money to be deposited at a 0% interest rate, (allowing the banks to lend that money out and make a profit).

There was a time when I truly believed that people who worked in a bank where intelligent beings, now I'm kind of surprised that we don't have a recession every couple of weeks.

There once was a time when I truly believed that the people who worked in a bank where in fact intelligent beings, now I'm kind of surprised that we don't have a recession every couple of weeks.

So I pose you this question: How does one get a utility bill, or rather what are my options from this point?

1. Pay to utilize something (water, internet, electricity, even a cellphone contract) oh no thats right you need a bank account to open those accounts

2. Sue the bank for discrimination against South Africans, the unemployed, the unable-to-get-a-utility-billed, young people... ect. oh no thats right you need a bank account to pay lawyers

3. Go home where bank accounts are available to those who have provided the same authenticated proof of address that I have provided the bank... oh hold on, I need a bank account to get the cash I need to by a ticket

4. Live like a hermit without a bank account? Work at a bar and be paid from the cash register? Well thats not an option because I really want to wear my suit, I look good in ties, its a curse

5. Try a new bank and hope for the best... oh hold on... no wait thats actually not a bad one, I'll get right on that.

So in closing I ask this simple question: If you are living on the streets of London, homeless, with no utility bills and you have decided to shave, sober up and join society as an employed British citizen how do you do make you first step? Keeping in mind that job offers are dependent on actually having a bank account.

I leave you with this frustrating thought: the bank actually send this letter to the address that they want proof of, and they wont accept their own letter... help