Awkward Moment #4
My work has a gym... awesome indeed, however, as I've discovered, gyms are very awkward places for people like me, some men (and few women) speak about their "guns", mine are 9mm guys...
Yes so I walked into the gym a few weeks ago, I had my super tight t-shirt on just to, you know... show off the nipples, I felt confident, I'd never been in a gym before but I figured, I can run and on demand I can lift a small bag of potatoes.
I walked into the most energetic room full of activity and and mirrors, instantly feeling my confidence slip away, people are big!
so i did what might have looked like some preemptive stretching and hopped onto a running machine, set it to a nice 10km/hour to at least look like there was some effort, and quickly realised that one of my legs is longer then the other, I run diagonally left when I'm not thinking, this realisation was perhaps most clear when I managed to step off the moving section onto the plastic railing, pretty close, I wish that I could say no one saw it, but lets face it, a gym is built wall to wall with mirrors, a smallish man leaping and grabbing at a running machine is just not going to fade into the background.
I made a half recovery, received some embarrassing advice and continued the run at 15km/hour in an attempt to win back some credibility, this worked for about 10 minutes at which time my legs where sending some pretty clear messages to the part of my brain that controls my decisions, so I stopped, tried hard to hide some necessary gasping and remain conscious while the outlines of my vision started to withdraw into dizzying darkness. After some post traumatic stretching I realised that I had managed to use my only real competitive advantage over this environment and my legs were over life in general.
So shrugging off my rather poor performance on the running machine of death and unhappiness I moved onto the arms, knowing that I can do whole heaps of lifting when it comes to like 8kg but no nothing more, an odd adaption to the wheel chair days of 2006, so the new plan pops into my head, "I shall hit the 8kg guys for the next 15 minutes, that'll look impressive", perhaps it would have, but the English, they use something called lb, so walking over to a weight and reading the label just didn't help. I picked up what I assumed was about doable, but no, wrong wrong wrong. I could just lift it off the rack, nothing more. Suddenly I was faced with two shocking thoughts, I can't move my arms up, and more embarrassingly, how will I get these ridiculous weights back on the rack.
Large problem, so now setting aside any remaining pride, I lowered them slowly on to the floor and picked each one up with two hands placing each one back individually.
Good times, I see why people gym
Haha who needs a television just go to the gym and watch the scrawny kid :)
