To briefly recap where we left off last time, today should have been the day that I received my bank account card and number, allowing me to transfer my South African funds into an English account, basically allowing me to continue participating as a human. Alas the mighty corporation thought otherwise, the battle, it seems, is not over, not with standing the fact that there are plenty of fat ladies singing in the tube station everyday. Today instead of receiving the life line promised to me by the bank manager I received a three page letter casually informing me that my request for a bank account has been denied on the basis that I had failed to provide a utility bill. At this point maybe it would be helpful to remind the reader that I am not looking for any credit facility at all, not even a little bit, just somewhere for my money to be deposited at a 0% interest rate, (allowing the banks to lend that money out and make a profit).
There was a time when I truly believed that people who worked in a bank where intelligent beings, now I'm kind of surprised that we don't have a recession every couple of weeks.
There once was a time when I truly believed that the people who worked in a bank where in fact intelligent beings, now I'm kind of surprised that we don't have a recession every couple of weeks.
So I pose you this question: How does one get a utility bill, or rather what are my options from this point?
1. Pay to utilize something (water, internet, electricity, even a cellphone contract) oh no thats right you need a bank account to open those accounts
2. Sue the bank for discrimination against South Africans, the unemployed, the unable-to-get-a-utility-billed, young people... ect. oh no thats right you need a bank account to pay lawyers
3. Go home where bank accounts are available to those who have provided the same authenticated proof of address that I have provided the bank... oh hold on, I need a bank account to get the cash I need to by a ticket
4. Live like a hermit without a bank account? Work at a bar and be paid from the cash register? Well thats not an option because I really want to wear my suit, I look good in ties, its a curse
5. Try a new bank and hope for the best... oh hold on... no wait thats actually not a bad one, I'll get right on that.
So in closing I ask this simple question: If you are living on the streets of London, homeless, with no utility bills and you have decided to shave, sober up and join society as an employed British citizen how do you do make you first step? Keeping in mind that job offers are dependent on actually having a bank account.
I leave you with this frustrating thought: the bank actually send this letter to the address that they want proof of, and they wont accept their own letter... help
It's just as hard here mate. I heard all you have to do is get a letter from the consulate saying you are in fact a South African Citizen with a British Passport with a residential address in SA, and ask if that will work as proof of residence at the bank.
ReplyDeleteOption two is to walk into the bank in an Armani Suit, and pretend you have millions of pounds. The bank manager will make short work of opening the account for you!
Good Luck~